I wear my home in my mind

I've been told by a couple of quasi-religious people things like "you were the most spiritual person I've ever met" or "Even though I don't believe in God, I still don't understand why you don't". Religious or spiritual people can't seem to fit my story into their worldview, and non-religious people have a difficulty understanding why anyone could be religious in the first place. I sometimes have a difficulty understanding my own plot myself.

I find it highly ironic that I feel the depth of many of my relationships had decreased when I let go of religion. Perhaps it's a false correlation: getting old, going to grad school and having less time. But it still doesn't tell me how to fix this, nor make me understand it.


You were home to me
But I was little to you
And you would have forgotten me
If I grew silent
You would have made much of your disaproval
as I made something of myself
but loved me for it
If I surrendered to you
and if you let me think

So I wear my home in my mind
And it is a little thing now
For I am strong enough to do so
And yet so fragile
For here are no imagined allies,
No immortal strength
Not anymore
It’s just me
My cracking voice
And those who stay with me for now
in their own simple way.