Waiting for glue to dry.

This post contained personal stuff, and has moved on to a better place... a farm in the country, if you will.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

With a Sword

“There are just some words in the English language that are so watered down or varied in meaning that they aren't worth using, like 'love' or 'God'”. I remarked to S. “It's not just English” he argued... “all languages are like that.” “But they have different ambiguities” I said. “English needs more words for all we call love”. “You don't need words for some things” I said.“But people mean so many things when they say love. How do I know that if someone isn't saying anything, they feel the same emotion I do?” And to this S replied “There are some things one can only rightly express with a sword”.
Read more

2 days... 90 minutes of sleep.... and still wanting to think.

Sometimes I feel very sharklike, in that I need to keep moving at all times in order to stay (in this case psychologically) alive. When I have little to do, I desire to do little: when I have much to do, that's when I find the desires to do things more meaningful with the time I have less of, or I find myself looking more closely at my life. So yes... two days ago I was up at 5, then I went to school went to the lab and at 7:30 PM started painting the interior of a house until 6:30 AM. I took a 90 minute nap before returning to school, and after I left the lab that night I went painting again. It's 3:30 AM and I'm physically exhausted. But mentally, I'm needing to for a long hard jog. Within these two days with a 90 minute nap between, I talked to a girl who had went through a very similar breakup to my painful one in September (unapologetic ownership of ex-girlfriend porn and all!). Only she broke up with her ex in the last 2 days... so a lot of the negative feeling...
Read more

Missing.

A bit of free-writing: It takes hold of me most often as my days close down and I begin the long walk home. I do most of my best thinking while walking, at least about these sorts of things. Perhaps it's just the Fall, although it's been there before in the summertime, but not as strong. A context with less interference: Ithaca in Autumn at sunset, and the beauty of it runs me down very quickly. It fails to take hold when there are people around me, but when they go it takes me back... to the point where I no longer seek to surround myself with other people, least of all people who don't feel like home. I guess that's what it like, I feel like I'm locked out of home with curtains drawn. There are people inside, but they can't hear me, and they don't have a sense that I am missing, and try as I might I can't open the door or find my way back. It's not my home anymore perhaps... but it's all I ever had. I feel like I've found a secret beautiful...
Read more