An Evolving Disciple

He claimed he didn't have any emotions. “Oh” I said, perhaps taking him a little too seriously, and answering him a whisper. At least 20 percent of anything I said is bullshit unless I'm whispering. “Do you feel they are more muted than other people, or do you just keep them all in the closet”? I don't remember him answering the question directly. “I think they wouldn't be on hangers” he added. “They'd be all wrinkled at the bottom”. “Aw.” I said at last a bit hopefully “You're being metaphorical”. “No”. He was in fact, just being funny. “Why not let it be a metaphor? Is that somehow unmanly?” “Er... probably high school english teachers” he replied caught in a corner, until he was freed by the fact that he was no longer speaking. He never explained what he meant by that, at least in so firm a fashion as I understood it. But it was a sleepy conversation after all. But after work and a walk home, I got to thinking. Or more likely, I got to thinking about things a...

So I said: "You know, you're the first guy I've dated in a very long time who doesn't think about the meaning of life as much as I do." He replied with incredulity: "Where do you find these guys?" Good question.

moved to other blog.. 3/25/09

Holding Back Holding Back. Holding Back. - updated July 13 2008 Half sleeping a languid hold on happiness I trace infinity on your back. Half fearing but can fear coexist with fits and starts of many throes all averaged out to hope. And there's no reason No passionate defense as you offer nothing to say. It's half peaceful. As I lie hear and wait for you give me nothing to say. Perhaps I could believe Perhaps delete perhaps for I heard myself give in before I sleep Is she there behind the eyes I only face sometimes I don't feel the burden as I sleep I do find you beautiful as you sleep I can face believing as I sleep...

“There are just some words in the English language that are so watered down or varied in meaning that they aren't worth using, like 'love' or 'God'”. I remarked to S. “It's not just English” he argued... “all languages are like that.” “But they have different ambiguities” I said. “English needs more words for all we call love”. “You don't need words for some things” I said.“But people mean so many things when they say love. How do I know that if someone isn't saying anything, they feel the same emotion I do?” And to this S replied “There are some things one can only rightly express with a sword”.