An Evolving Disciple

I just got back from 2 weeks of not being in Ithaca... it was beautiful and refreshing. I got to see a lot of good friends that I wish I could take back with me, some of whom I hadn't seen in 4 years. I did a lot of deep thinking and close talking, and a bit of drinking and spending. And I engaged in a timeless ritual embraced by women of all creeds, ethnicities and values... to show I've changed (and gotten over a man): I've chopped off my hair and gotten a lot of new clothes. It feels good. There's much in my head to transcribe of the particular thoughts and conversations I've had in the last 2 weeks... a lot I really want and need to write out. For now, here's a poem I wrote a couple days in when I was making up for lost REM sleep: A Recurring Dream: I don't know where were going but you're driving me home I know all these roads all too many and you're taking too long for I feel the ending and I missed the start but you take the long way and I kno...

NOTE/DISCLAIMER - I PURGED THIS POST OF MORE PERSONAL DETAILS. THIS IS JUST THE END. It's weird how the people who make you the happiest are often the same ones who make you the saddest. I still feel sad but not conflicted, I feel even more lonely and I imagine that will get worse. But I feel at peace, very much at peace. Some of you have been telling me to do this for a while... My friend Jesse told me: “You know this is kinda cheesy Orri, but when I get said I imagine myself on a boat where all my sadness and misery is on an island behind me. And I keep putting myself there, in that boat, as it slowly becomes smaller and smaller on the Horizon” “But where are you going when you move away from it?” I asked. I've always been uncomfortable not having a path towards a future goal, even to the expense of the present. “I don't know. We never know. But that's what makes life so interesting”